An Open Letter to My Readers

(Weird) Stuff of Life Dear Blog Readers, I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your car and I saw you drive over my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're man enough to understand I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I told the psychiatrist about the bruises and the apartment building is on fire. Greetings to your frog, Leonard, Melanie Okay. If you think I inhaled something I shouldn't have, this is just a silly game similar to Madlibs, except the phrases are preselected to match ydifferent trait of yours (for example the fact that my shirt is black inserted "I dislike your eyelashes" into my little letter!) It's silly but somehow therapeudic at the same time. Try it! Simply copy this letter and fill in the blanks by answering the questions below... and if some of it is a wee bit crude feel free to adapt it, it wasn't my creation! And please, send me your version of this letter. Post it in comments and share the insanity! Dear (Friend) ,I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2______3___ and I saw you___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're___6___ enough to understand___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ and ___11___.___12___,then write your name here 1. What's the color of your shirt? Blue - Our romance is over Red - Our affair is over White – I’m joining the Convent Black - I dislike your eyelashes Green - Our socks don't match Grey - You're a pervert Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you No shirt - You're mean Other - I'm in love with your cat 2. Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your noseF ebruary - Last year when you peed your pants March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I threw up in your sock drawer June - When you put cuffs on me July – When you smacked my ass August - When I saw the purple monkey September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub October - When I quoted Forrest Gump November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I finally changed my underwear 3. Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Lasagna- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Chicken - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Fish - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4. What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Hit onRed - Insult Black - IgnoreBlue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - Put whipped cream on Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5. What's the color of your underwear? Green - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude Other - The elephant in the corner 6. What do you prefer to watch on TV? Scrubs; Man O.C.; Emotional One Tree Hill; Open Heroes; Frostbitten Lost; High House; Sly Simpsons; Cowardly The news; Scarred Idol; Masochistic Family Guy; Senile Top Model; Middle-class Other; Ashamed 7. Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Confused- That Santa doesn't exist Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The Middle-East is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Bored- That you need a sex-change Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbass Other - That your driving sucks 8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ringYellow - Your love letters to me Red - Your Elton John poster Black - Your pet Blue - The couch cushions Green - The pictures from Vegas Orange - Your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your car 9. The first letter of your first name? A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it C/D - The oil tank from your car E/F - Your neighbour’s dog G/H - My virginity I/J - The results of your blood-sample K/L - Your left ear M/N - Your suicide note O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T - Your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your glass eye Y/Z - Your credit cards 10. The last letter in your last name? A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises C/D - Never will forget that night E/F - Always wanted to break your legs G/H – Hate your cooking I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – Am better off without you 11. What do you prefer to drink? Water- Our friendship is ruined Beer – You should stop picking your nose Flavored water – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemur Pepsi – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Wine – Thanks for the cocaine Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – I love Oprah Winfrey Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - You ruined my attempts at another world war Other – I'm scratching my ass as you read this 12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations USA - Best of luck on the sex-change England - Good luck in jail Spain - Go drown yourself China – You make me sick Germany – Go milk a cow Japan - Please don't hurt me Greece - Your everlasting enemy Australia - Greetings to your frog, Leonard Egypt – Kiss my ass France – With tears of sadness

Lost post: Day Five - Document a Week in the Life

Stuff of Life

Doing this document a week in the life project has totally got me realizing just how busy our lives are right now. I'm also realizing that maybe I'm not such a bad mother after all (yes, I question myself about this issue on a regular basis). I see through my own eyes with help from the camera that my kids have it pretty good. So here is a boast list of ten things that I've noticed this week that make me a good, no a GREAT mother to these little pumpkins of mine:

1) My house is a mess - not a call-the-inspector-and-have-this-place-quarantined kind of mess, but the kind of mess that indicates that productive play happens al the time, everywhere and with all kinds of toys that aren't really toys.

2) There are kiwis on my window sill, which indicates that we've got the bases covered when it comes to eating healthy and feeding our kids healthy food.

3) I've scrapbooked, sewed (sewn?), worked on my course assignments and blogged this week, which shows I'm taking care of myself at least a little bit, so I'm ready to take care of my kids.

4) I think my kids are just about the cutest ever... forget "just about". They ARE the cutest kids ever. Every mother should think that about their kids, right? I can't stop taking pictures of their perfect faces, and it's painful deleting the photos (which i must or i might as well buy a video camera for all the shots I get!)

5) We have so much laundry that I don't just categorize it by lights, darks, and reds... we also have in addition to these towels/receiving blankts, greens and blues, yellow/orange/beige, diapers, and sheets. Oh, and the darks load is usually a double. What's so great about that? The fact that my kids don't wear the same clothes day after day, despite the HUGE temptation!

6) So far this week my kids have played with chestnuts (which do NOT taste good roasted on an open fire by the way), leaves, our van, measuring spoons and cups, nursing pillows, laundry baskets... oh, and on occasion toys. I'm raising creative kids and nurturing this in them by encouraging atypical play things.

7) I read to my kids every day, usually two or three times with many many books, including my most despised "spot the dog" series and P.B. Bear (which was hidden under the couch but with the rearranging of the livingroom has reappeared - rats!)

8) I am cheap, not just thrifty - I am on the look out for a deal when it comes to, well, everything I buy, I don't buy impulsively (well rarely anyways), and I don't buy excessively. That means our kids aren't spoiled and there's also more cashola for things like swimming, classes, special outings, and savings.

9) I am trying to let my kids be who they are, not who I want them to be. They have a lot of freedom around here to do what they want to do (within reason - no you can't play with the garbage can, Finny) and experiment and explore.

10) I know I am not perfect. This is a fine balance because knowing my imperfections is healthy when I look for positive change but unhealthy when I mope about it. I'm not a perfect person, and I'm not a perfect mother, but I'm getting better!

So there you go. I'm a great mother, even if that doubtful voice inside my head (again with the disembodied voice!) tells me I'm a failure every once in a while. This little look into our daily lives for a week is a good remind that we're muscling through the challenges and embracing the good times when we find them - which is more often than you'd think!

Day Three - Document a Week in the Life

Stuff of Life

Is there something wrong with me?

I’ve been reading other people’s blogs, mostly fellow scrapbookers like myself because I often find cool tips and neat ideas on their blogs. Most of it is good. It’s real. Like the woman who posted pictures of her kids in the rain, soaked from puddle jumping and noted “the laundry isn’t done…still”. Or the women who are mourning for a two parents burned in a plane crash and their children waiting for a slow recovery (85% to the mother… she was is beautiful).

But lately I’m really wondering what it is that makes me so different it seems from the great “them” out there. The ones who post how wonderful and sweet and cool their husbands are. Or who share about how they scrapbooked with their kids while lying on the lawn in the sunshine and there’s proof they really did it because there are pictures on their blogs. Or the ones who post regularly, like clockwork, amazing layouts and projects with interesting (time consuming) techniques.

Don’t get me wrong. The DH (which I think stands for dear husband since I see it written in that context often, but for all I know it could mean dreadful handful or disastrous headache) is a good guy. And my kids are not holy terrors. And I sometimes find time to scrapbook.

But am I the only one not ga-ga over my husband’s fantasticism (yes, I made up that word).

Am I the only one who sometimes counts the minutes until quiet time so I can finally be alone?

Am I the only one who is lucky to get an hour a week with my favourite outlet of artistic expression?

I do not judge others or envy them (not in this case anyways). But sometimes I wonder… “how do they do it?”

I don’t pity myself (over this issue anyways). But sometimes I wonder… “one day, will that be me?”

So I keep truckin’ through this life. Busy, swamped really, and barrelling on through all the ups and downs and late nights and early mornings and wet diapers and dishes galore and course assignments and places to be and people to see.

I’m a juggler, and I drop the balls on a regular basis, but so long as those balls aren’t my kids (note I didn’t specify the DH – last week I forgot to put the key in the mailbox and he was locked out for an hour- oops), we’re okay.

We’re okay.

I’m okay.

Onward.

Scrapbook Idea of the Day

Still documenting my life bit by bit. I'm actually pretty happy with the progress I'm making, and some of the shots I'm getting. Should be an interesting album when (if) I get time to put it all together! So I thought I'd show off some of the pictures I'm loving. Here's just a few from yesterday and today:

Day One - Document a Week in the Life

Stuff of Life/Scrapbook Idea of the Day

So Ali Edwards, my scrap idol, over on her blog has begun this one week challenge/project to document the everyday things you do for one week. Keep the camera at hand to capture the little things in life that we see daily but take for granted, the precious moments (not to be confused with those bizzare porcelain figurines) we forget so easily, the regular stuff that makes our life our life. So I began this morning. My first photo of the day and of the week was this one:

Inspired, eh? Well, it was a start, and I was still in my bathrobe at this point.

Remembering to take my camera with me everywhere and keep it near was challenge number one. I actually managed to get myself, the 3 kiddles, the diaper bag, my purse, camera, and very heavy bag of veggies out to Jackie's place by 8:45 this morning. We spent the morning making zucchini relish, and chatting about this and that. By the end of the morning we'd laughed, cried and run an enormous 48 cups of zucchini, plus peppers, and onions (thus the crying) though the food processor.

At 11 o'clock I popped the kids back in the car and zipped over to Miriam's preschool (we were late but, oh well). At which point I forgot my camera at Jackie's house. Which is in the country. Oops. Well, the lack of photos is true to my life. Sometimes things get left behind, and with God's help hopefully it'll never be one of the kids.

So back home to hang with Finny and Carmen, tidy up a bit, do not much of anything before picking Miriam up again. Carmen conked out on the ten minute drive home and I popped her in bed but nap time didn't take. Finnegan slept. So did I... not realizing nap time was not a part of Carmen's reality. I woke up in my reclining chair to Miriam about 3 inches from my face, smiling at me, telling me about something she'd just done or created. I'm not sure what - it was all foggy at that point. But the sound of my girl, who rarely cries for more than 20 seconds, screaming her head off upstairs in the bassinette cleared my head pretty quickly. Uh oh. Confession time. I have no idea how long she was crying. Could have been a while and based on the fact that it took me 20 minutes to calm her down, I felt pretty bad about it. So no nap. Makes for cheerful kids, eh?

Jim came home from work early and we had early supper - tacos, which are a crown pleaser around here! I went out to Jackie's to pick up my camera, and on the way home hit the local value village where I picked up this sweet deal Juicer for $9.99. It seriously looks like it's never been used. Woo hoo! It might even work! (Maybe I'll try it tomorrow)

Bathtime, brush teeth, bed. Carmen is upstairs having a hard time sleeping because she's so overtired. Happliy her thumb never leaves her and I'm praying she'll calm down eventually. For tonight I've got a reflection for my course, and a lecture to help Jim put together for Chem. Best of all, my day ends with one of these... a glacier/screamer which is a heavenly combination of soft serve icecream and coke slurpee. Yum! Thanks Jim!

'Til tomorrow!

Melanie

Ta da!

Scrapbook Idea of the Day Here it is! I've imagined this for a few months and finally stole the time to create my first scrapping video! It took some time, but I can see the process getting faster, so I am not dissuaded from doing more in the future... thus the "Episode 1" title! Please give me feedback. What did you like? What could improve? Any ideas? Requests? Ta da! Supplies Used: Fiskars Eurotrimmer (paper cutter) More to Adore Paper Packet from Close to My Heart Adhesive (yes, mine totally sucked - I didn't have a holder and was out of the good Tombow stuff so I tried to make do. More like make don't!) I later added flowers (Close to My Heart) with a brad in the centre of each (dollar store) and "Stickease" stickers (also CTMH) As well I sponged the edge of the 4 x 4 mat on the right page using Cocoa ink and wrote my journalling with the Cocoa marker (Both CTMH)

Cuba or Bust!

Stuff of Life I have to note this before I forget. There are so many laughable things that happen in our house each and every day. I really should be keeping better track. Anyways... This morning Miriam and Finnegan had my two nursing pillows out in the livingroom and had connected the crescents to form what they decided was their "boat." Such simple pleasures! So there they are sitting in their "boat" and when I asked where they were going in their boat Miriam said "We're going to Cuba" and I thought, 'I bet they're in the only boat that's actually going to Cuba. I'll bet all the Cubans heading the other way think my two are crazy!" Too silly! (We went to Cuba for vacation last year which is where Miriam gets this idea from. BTW we went by plane, not boat that time!) Spiritual Insight of the Day Last night as I drove home from scrapbooking at Tara's I was just overwhelmed by the need to pray for the lives of three women that I know. I won't go into detail, but I am so privileged to be close enough with them that they have shared the tough stuff of life with me. I sang along to the CD "Hungry" and just lifted them up to God and asked that despite the challenges in their lives He would be there with them and make His presence known. So if you're in a prayerful mood and want to add "those three women Melanie's been thinking about" to your prayer today, that would be great. And a prayer for me to love them and be salt and light in their lives would be great too. Thanks. Scrapbook Idea of the Day (Cue Jaws music) It's coming... it's almost here... get ready... is the anticipation killing you?

Sunshine and Roses... NOT!

Spiritual Insight of the Day Okay, so I know "Not" is totally uncool and dates me since it was around in the late 80's. But I'm okay with that. I never once implied that I might believe myself to be cool! I have hit serious spiritual doldrums right now. For those of you who don't know the doldrums are these areas of the ocean where sailors used to sail through and get stuck for days and weeks because the winds just disappeared and there was no wind in their sails and they weren't going anywhere. Places to avoid when you're living in the 1600's and you haven't got enough food (and beer) on board to keep the crew happy and the rats are running around and the disease infested place gets filthier and filthier and everyone is just miserable and trapped until the wind picks up again. Okay, my doldrums are not so bad as that. We haven't had mice in our house since last fall (that was an ordeal) and the disease level is low (well, high if my hypochondriac microbiologist husband has his input) and we have enough food and beer to keep the crew (i.e. kids) happy... okay so we don't actually give them beer but on occasion it has crossed my mind to give the boy sedatives so he'll sleep past 6 a.m. I'm kidding. Do not call social services. I don't know what it is that has me feeling so blue. Could be some late post partum. God knows I've been through that before. I just have been feeling lately that I want a clean slate. Like I could have a big "Do Over" for the past few months. I'm all itchy to move out of our house which we love and built to our specifications but I somehow think that a new house will magically be easier to tidy and maintain. You see? I know my thoughts are completely illogical, and yet there is this voice in my head (figuratively, not literally. I haven't heard from that other voice for years now...;) that says these thoughts have merit. So I'm going to pray now that God will just keep my feet stepping one in front of the other until I have it in me to pick up the pace once again. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me, or in my case ties a rope around my waist and drags me along for a while. Fortunately God is much gentler than I am and doesn't do that but I'd be happy even with that right now! Off to bed. It's far too late and I need sleep badly!

It Could've Been Me

Stuff of Life... and death Read a blog today of a woman with two kids killed in a car accident. She was a blogger and a scrappbooker and mother and creator and woman living life day to day like me. Okay, yeah, I'm a bit depressed by it. Makes me think about what I'm doing and why. I did the technological reset last week with our media blackout, but I think I've got to do more. Not sure what. Pondering. Seeking wisdom. I've seriously got to read my bible more often. Going to go hug my kids now and play Bunny Hop with them. Over and Out.

I... hic... have... hic... the hiccups...hic!

Stuff of Life Well, we're getting into a good routine around here, and it's nice that autumn (my favourite season!) has arrived after some very hot summer days! I have spent the last two days in the garden during Carmen's morning nap while Miriam and Finnegan play in the "rock box" (no we're not too poor to afford sand - we chose rocks over sand because apparently it has a better crush factor when kids fall off swings, and also we thought the neighbourhood cats wouldn't have a hey-day filling it with feces. So much for that idea) I've pulled weeds out of some neglected areas of the garden like the back which is not only tricky to get at but which also is home to some BIG spiders. They look like daddy long legs, but their bodies are more like jagged ovals and even though they run away when I move the leaves they look to have HUGE fangs... at least I think those are fangs. Anyways, you can never be too cautious where spiders and moths are concerned. The point is, gardening would be a lot more fun if it was a bug-free experience. I digress. My plants are doing really well for the most part. This was my experiemental year where I just packed them in and let them fight for blossom glory. Now I have an idea of what is strong and hearty (bee-balm, creeping jenny, lupin) and what is not (bell flowers, clematis, and shasta daisy, surprisingly). I also now realize that when the plant guide says the diameter of growth is 3 feet, it actually means 3 feet. Some of my plants will need to be moved around, but I'm not sure if I should do it now or wait until spring. All in all, though, a very successful garden. And my harvest will be plentiful as well! Beets and Zucchini top the list, with some beans and herbs close behind. I was disappointed in my carrots, which granted I planted late. But I pulled one out last week and it was about as long as my pinky finger and not even close to as wide. Pathetic. Oh well, better luck next year! Miriam loves preschool and is doing so well with piano lessons through Music for Young Children. Finnegan started kindermusik and according to Oma, who takes him, he is VERY shy. He'll do what's asked of him, such as getting a set of bells or a shaker egg, but while the other kids move and dance and sing with the instruments our boy pretty much just holds them and stares at the overwhelming mass of little people around him. It'll take time, but apparently the other parents think he is SO CUTE! Carmen has figured out how to roll and gets around a bit now. Only problem with that is her spit up which was previously confined to her play mat now gets pretty much all over the place. Oh well... we'll get rid of the carpet in favour of hardwood once the kids are old enough not to play with hotwheels on the floor! Jim is enjoying teaching (20 hours a week) but not so much the prep work behind it (40+ hours a week). We are both finishing every day pretty much exhausted. If you are reading this and are a pray-er, you could keep us in mind. We need some relief from this life of constant busyness - and I thought the Ph.D. was bad. This is about 10 times worse... either that or my memory is failing me which is also likely! That's all for now. Working on my first video blog. Should be cool! (If you're a scrapbooker)

Ooooh... Pretty...

Just a brief post to show off a totally cool little project I did last week. 3x3 inch cards (12 in all, two of each shown here) with a nifty little box to hold them in! Doesn't my lighting just make it look fantastic? Yay me!